So the Teenager turned up in the kitchen yesterday afternoon fully dressed to go out, including trainers and his coat, asking to go into town with his friend. My 1st reaction was to ring his friends parents to ask them, his friend is youngest in his family and doesn’t have a very tight leash, we come across him everywhere. Then I tried to get hold of his father to see what his thoughts on it were… no answer as always. I checked my purse to see if I had any change on me… I couldn’t send him empty-handed and found 72p. So I decided to say no.
The Teenager proceeded to act like he always does when he is told no.
A temper tantrum
It can go on for hours. I turned away and put the kettle on thinking I’d be there for a good few hours like in the past. He stormed upstairs yelling obscenities at me but then there was complete and utter silence. I made my drink and sat at the kitchen table pondering what was going on upstairs then he reappeared with a sheet of paper, a list of reasons he had made as to why I should let him to go town, here are a few snippets from that list..
- It gives us a break from each other – him and I
- he needs fresh air – never mind he spent 2 hours training in the snow earlier that day
- He has a fiver left over from his birthday so he can use that for him and his friend.
- He wont get the bus and he would let me take him
Again I said no, I wasn’t going back on my earlier decision, I need to be consistent with him so changing my mind is going to let him think I’m a walkover. Again he yelled more and cried this time kicking a football at the kitchen door full pelt. This went on for over 30 minutes so it was quite a quick episode as we have been in these deadlocks for hours and lost days at a time.
Later on a friend called for a coffee and we were talking, her son the same age is to put it politely ‘Off His Head’ We were comparing stories of our week and she mentioned her son had been refered to CAHMS, he is in the process of being tested for numerous things to explain his behaviour, now by no means am I suggesting my son has anything wrong with him but I decided to do a little light research on my lunch today to find out if there is anything I can do to maybe help keep him calm when he gets upset and one thing I have decided to do is change his diet.
After all putting goodness in means goodness out right?
trawling Pintrest for weaning ideas, I’ve done it before and they now each spinach, covered in cheese and pastry but it’s still spinach!
I try so hard not to argue with him but its hard going, Mr Right has seen it once or twice and he had to leave, Father helps out if he’s around, he’ll remove him for a while to calm down but it all boils down to the same thing.
He wants to live with his dad and stepmum.
Neither of them are keen on this idea, it’s not that they don’t love him, but neither can cope while he’s on one over the word no.
I’m always researching new techniques on how to help each other and i’ve applied for a teenage parenting course, not because i’m a rubbish parent, I’m not the best in the west either but I feel I need to be around other parents who expeirence the same things, so fingers crossed come April I’ll be participating in this.