Reasons for the Teenager going to town on a Sunday afternoon in the rain!

So the Teenager turned up in the kitchen yesterday afternoon fully dressed to go out, including trainers and his coat, asking to go into town with his friend. My 1st reaction was to ring his friends parents to ask them, his friend is youngest in his family and doesn’t have a very tight leash, we come across him everywhere. Then I tried to get hold of his father to see what his thoughts on it were… no answer as always. I checked my purse to see if I had any change on me… I couldn’t send him empty-handed and found 72p. So I decided to say no.

The Teenager proceeded to act like he always does when he is told no.

A temper tantrum

It can go on for hours. I turned away and put the kettle on thinking I’d be there for a good few hours like in the past. He stormed upstairs yelling obscenities at me but then there was complete and utter silence. I made my drink and sat at the kitchen table pondering what was going on upstairs then he reappeared with a sheet of paper, a list of reasons he had made as to why I should let him to go town, here are a few snippets from that list..

  • It gives us a break from each other – him and I
  • he needs fresh air – never mind he spent 2 hours training in the snow earlier that day
  • He has a fiver left over from his birthday so he can use that for him and his friend.
  • He wont get the bus and he would let me take him

Again I said no, I wasn’t going back on my earlier decision, I need to be consistent with him so changing my mind is going to let him think I’m a walkover. Again he yelled more and cried this time kicking a football at the kitchen door full pelt. This went on for over 30 minutes so it was quite a quick episode as we have been in these deadlocks for hours and lost days at a time.

Later on a friend called for a coffee and we were talking, her son the same age is to put it politely ‘Off His Head’ We were comparing stories of our week and she mentioned her son had been refered to CAHMS, he is in the process of being tested for numerous things to explain his behaviour, now by no means am I suggesting my son has anything wrong with him but I decided to do a little light research on my lunch today to find out if there is anything I can do to maybe help keep him calm when he gets upset and one thing I have decided to do is change his diet.

After all putting goodness in means goodness out right?

trawling Pintrest for weaning ideas, I’ve done it before and they now each spinach, covered in cheese and pastry but it’s still spinach!

I try so hard not to argue with him but its hard going, Mr Right has seen it once or twice and he had to leave, Father helps out if he’s around, he’ll remove him for a while to calm down but it all boils down to the same thing.

He wants to live with his dad and stepmum.

Neither of them are keen on this idea, it’s not that they don’t love him, but neither can cope while he’s on one over the word no.

I’m always researching new techniques on how to help each other and i’ve applied for a teenage parenting course, not because i’m a rubbish parent, I’m not the best in the west either but I feel I need to be around other parents who expeirence the same things, so fingers crossed come April I’ll be participating in this.

Advertisements

Fall out from my night out

So I’ve been single 7 years… through choice mainly. When I’ve met someone in the past I’ve always chickened out thoughts always go back to how the boys would take it, they are the most important people in my life.

Around September last year i met Mr Right… I’ve fallen for him. He is like the male version of me but there are a few things

he still lives at home with his parents

. In his 34 years he has never moved out. He doesn’t drive, not a big thing but I couldn’t survive not driving. The boys have met him. Nothing over the top and it’s only been for a few hours at a time. I am cautious, the boys seem to like him.

Last night we went to my local pub, a few friends were in there as well. Maybe I had a few too many wines but the conversation turned to having babies. Baring in mind I was young when I had the teenager at 19 following on a few years later with the 9 year old.

Mr Right wants children!

I found this out last night. There are so many questions going through my head right now.

Do I want more children?
How would my boys take it?
Will he want to move into my house?
Can I afford to go on maternity leave?
Can I afford to pay for nursery or would I have to give up work?
Mr Right is self employed and his wages aren’t reliable. How could we survive?
The boys would have to share a room again eventually… imagine the fights!
What happens if I’m heavily pregnant and the teenager kicks off?

Is it selfish of me to ask these questions? I can’t say anything to Mr Right at the moment… I don’t want to rock the boat just yet! My minds running over time here.

While all these questions were running through my head we left the pub and came home. We had a few more wines and went to bed. When I woke up this morning he had made breakfast, as I smiled at him my heart melted even more.

Mr Right I love you and looks like there will be a baby right if u carry on waking me up with bacon.

This week I have been…

Here’s an insight into the many roles I’ve played this week

Mum 👩
Daughter
Friend
Sister
Auntie
Girlfriend 💑
Referee ⚽
Rugby player🏉
Goalie
Kareoke singer🎤
Slave
Bank manager
Gamer
Taxi driver🚕
Cleaner
Technical support
Baker
Personal shopper
Chef
Hair dresser💇
PA
Repair woman 🔨

Of course and the main role… Most hated woman in the house!!!!

It was such a reality check after spending the 6 weeks since Xmas sitting at my desk arranging car pools for the numerous out of school activities… how stay at home mums stay sane I don’t know but hats off to you all…

I love my boys so much… my heart aches when they visit their father but my 6 hours a day away I cherish.

Half term…

So let me introduce myself… I’m a single mum to the 2 most incredible children in the world (I’m biased obviously) the eldest is a teenage boy, the youngest is 9… here is an insight to how our half term has gone!

image

This week I’ve taken 4 days off work… The boys have spent a day with my parents that went ok! Tuesday the eldest spent the day with his friend and their family whilst the youngest and I enjoyed some quality time in our pjs… We don’t do this as much as we should

Wednesday we had a birthday! Lots of presents! Fun and laughter! Oh no! We had an almighty temper tantrum off the teenager when – and I quote

‘why didn’t u get me the only thing I asked for?’

He’d forgotten about the presents opened an hour previous! Afternoon tea was spent locking the downstairs doors and windows and removing the keys! Making sure he wasn’t harming himself after my mother asked him to stop touching the cake! The boys then went to their fathers for the evening queue a very large glass of wine!

Thursday we had a family day out with extended family! We were all very excited to go to the local zoo! We really did have a great day. The weather was not kind to us but the zoo had lots planned for us! The teenager is on his best behaviour he’s showing his auntie how mature he is. Queue my little lamb to turn into the incredible hulk! I swear he had a green tinge to him! He got a time out by the giraffe’s. Once home it was a quick tea. cheese on toast. Football training for them both. Now it’s winter trainings held in the other side of town! I now hate traffic. To stand for another hour in the rain… how do we top this off? Let’s have a fight in the car. ARGH!!! Oh but it gets better… Any parent to a male teenager will know these words FIFA POINTS I said not tonight son… he’s still in his room not talking to me! He’s rang his father to come get him but he’s still here…

I dread to think what Friday will bring us… wish me luck…